League News

Opening Day of the Harrier Fun Baseball League is Saturday at Haley Field. Ceremonies will begin promptly at 9 a.m. Children should arrive in uniform no later than 7:30 a.m. and report to their managers so they can practice their marching.

I don't want a repeat of the chaos of last year, so I've hired a drummer for each team to help them keep in step.

I want to thank the American Legion Color Guard for agreeing to participate again in the opening ceremonies, especially after what happened last year. The rifles were recovered, and Commander Sid Young has decided to let bygones be bygones. So let's draw the veil over that unfortunate incident.

A few important notes:

Trophies. We heard your complaints about the so-called cheesy participation plaques and took them to heart. Our new firm is offering two trophy models: the mother-of-pearl-inlaid "Winged Victory" Model 62 or the bronze-and-marcasite "Triumph of the Common Man" Model 87B. Samples will be available for inspection opening day. Vote for your favorite.

A note: The league decided to keep plaques for T-ballers after we realized the new trophies were taller than most of the kids and could pose a safety hazard. My thanks to Mom Kim Staller for that catch.

New rules. All player cell phones are herewith banned from dugouts during games. We're on to that trick of calling teammates while the opposition is at bat and "chirping" the batter to distraction. We also had complaints from the umps about coaches phoning in steal signals to base runners. So write it down: No cell phones.

We are also making permanent last year's "emergency rule" forbidding parents to come within three feet of the batting cage while games are under way.

On a related note, I'm happy to announce that Umpire Dwayne has recovered from his wounds and will return for his 10th season. The lifetime ban on Dad Walt Hasey remains in effect.

Schedules. Season schedules will be available from managers on opening day, or they can be downloaded to your PDA from the league Web site.

The regular season ends on Sunday, June 13, but new parents should be made aware that we have triple-elimination playoffs and a five-game championship series. These can draw the season out a bit. I'm proud to say that, in my years as commissioner, it's never gone beyond Labor Day. I plan to keep that record intact.

But it's time for my annual warning about postponing such low-level activities as elective surgery, out-of-town trips and family vacations until season's end. High-level activities, such as attending the funerals of immediate family members, are obviously unavoidable. We suggest you send one parent as a "family delegate" to such events.

A note to Jewish moms and dads: Please see our helpful pamphlet, "Planning for Fall Bar & Bat Mitzvahs."

Practice. Regular league teams, see your coach. For travel teams, last year's practice schedule remains in effect: Monday through Friday, 5 p.m. to 8:30 p.m., with a "Dawn Patrol" session at 6:30 a.m. Sunday.

I regret that international events forced cancellation of last year's travel-team trip to Romania, but I'm sure we're all looking forward to this year's Hawaiian Invitational Tourney.

Misc. The board tries to be mindful of changing times and tastes, and we've considered carefully the objections of the (perhaps overly PC) moms and dads to some of the team names. However, we must also bow to tradition. These teams have a long and proud tradition at Harrier. Therefore, our ruling is: The under-16 boys Cannibals and Serial Killers shall keep their team names, but the under-16 girls softball Bimbettes shall henceforth be known as the Bombardiers.

I'll be sending out league fee schedules next week. Get ready for a shock! Those new trophies don't come cheap.

In the meantime, on behalf of the board and the coaches, let me say: Play ball!

And remember our motto here at Harrier:

It's All About Fun, Fun Fun!